Royal Caribbean: What's Really Going On, the Latest Changes, and Why You Should Care
Royal Caribbean's Shakeup: Is Anyone Actually Steering the Ship?
Alright, let's get this straight. Another executive shuffle at Royal Caribbean? Color me shocked. Ana Karina Santini is out after 14 years, moving on to "new professional chapter" which, let's be real, is corporate speak for "found a better gig before this whole thing sinks." And they want us to believe it's all sunshine and rainbows.
The Never-Ending Cruise Ship Renovation
First, Santini's departure. Josh Carroll, SVP of something-or-other, gives the usual "passion and dedication" speech. Okay, fine. But what did she actually do? "Shaping the company's strategic presence across Europe and Asia-Pacific"? Securing "major concessions"? Sounds like a whole lotta nothing. Did she fix the buffet lines? Did she make sure the towel animals were actually recognizable? No? Then give me a break. Ana Karina Santini is leaving Royal Caribbean
And speaking of things not going as planned, let's talk about the Royal Beach Club Paradise Island. Supposed to open December 23, 2025. Preview visits cancelled because "construction is still in progress." You know, maybe they should've focused less on securing "long-term concessions" and more on, I dunno, actually building the damn thing on time. Ongoing Construction Delays First Royal Caribbean Beach Club
"Our original plan was to have you help us experience everything Royal Beach Club Paradise Island will offer, but we want to make sure it meets the exceptional standards we’ve envisioned before opening it to you,” the letter added." Oh, the "exceptional standards." Right. Like the "exceptional standards" of not having your vacation ruined by unfinished construction. Offcourse, they're tossing some "exclusive Paradise Island swag" at the affected guests. A keychain and a coupon for a watered-down cocktail probably.
But here's the kicker. They're still planning to open on December 23rd? Seriously? That's like trying to bake a cake while the house is on fire. Maybe I'm missing something, but doesn't it feel like they're cutting it a little close?
Paperless Bills and Priceless Headaches
And then there's the paper bill thing. Starting December 15, 2025, no more printed invoices. Everything's going digital. "Convenient option to retrieve your final bill through the App, Email, Guest Services, or on iTV (where available)," they say. Convenient for who? Not for the 80-year-old grandma who can barely work her TV remote, let alone navigate a "mobile app." Not for the family on a budget who wants to see exactly how much they blew on those "convenient" drink packages.
Look, I get it. Save some trees, cut costs. But let's be real: this is just another way for Royal Caribbean to nickel and dime us while pretending it's for our own good. And I can already see the lines forming at Guest Services as people try to decipher their digital folios.
It's all part of the grand plan to digitize everything. eDocs, SetSail Pass, digital Cruise Compass… pretty soon, we'll all be living in the metaverse while sailing the high seas. Except the metaverse probably has better food.
Black Friday Bargains or Black Hole Swindles?
Oh, and of course, it's Black Friday season. Cruise lines are rolling out the "best deals of the year!" Atlas Ocean Voyages is offering "up to 40% off and a complimentary amenity!" What's the amenity? A free bar of soap? A coupon for 10% off your next cruise? I'm sure the fine print is just thrilling. I bet you have to book by December 5th, travel on a Tuesday in February during a blizzard, and sell your firstborn child to get the full 40% off.
Then again, maybe I'm just being cynical. Maybe Ana Karina Santini really did leave for greener pastures. Maybe the Royal Beach Club will magically be finished on time. Maybe the digital bills will usher in an era of unprecedented transparency. And maybe pigs will fly.